Wednesday, February 3, 2010

For Jordan – Heaven’s Angel

It will be a year ago tomorrow when you followed that bright light to Heaven’s door……

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…yet it feels like yesterday that the USAF notification team arrived to give us the raw and painful news that our son had passed away. Never before did we ever imagine that scenario – that 3 Class A Uniformed Officers would be knocking at our door to tell us that our son was gone. I never thought that our family would ever have to have our child’s body flown back home on a plane. I never imagined that I would be that mother who would be presented her son’s flag - the very one that covered his casket back home - the one that was precisely folded and honorably handed over with a salute.


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Just the day before, we had talked for a long time on the phone. He shared with me what kind of dog he wanted to get and that he was having a touch of food poisoning from an under-cooked BBQ burger he had made for himself. We laughed and talked about how the family was and how his work was going. He loved being a firefighter. At the end of the conversation he said to me, “I love you, mom.” He always told me this and he always thanked me for cooking dinner. A very appreciative heart. A very loving heart. An excellent young man. A wonderful son, brother and friend.


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Always smiling....that sweet and slight sideways smile...


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Jordan loved to come home on military leave time. We were always greeted with big hugs and kisses and caught up with what he had been doing on our drive home. One time he grabbed the wrong military duffle bag and didn't realize it wasn't his until he pulled it out of the trunk and an Army issued combat helmet fell out. So back to the airport we went, wrong bag in tow. Luckily, his was waiting in the baggage claim area. **whew!**


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See....even as a child, he was always making us laugh! When Jordan walked into a room, people noticed. People loved him - and he loved back.


s618862182_1444571_1373 s618862182_1444572_1681 s618862182_1444573_2241 As his friends will say, Jordan always found fun and humor in each day. Here he was pole dancing in the firehouse…..


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…and goofing around with the Hulla-Hoop at a BBQ with coworkers and friends whilst in England.

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Oh how he loved to play with the water hoses!P1010076a P1010166a He so loved his family and friends…

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How much do you love us? “THIS MUCH!!”


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Jordan wanted to make a difference in the world and enlisted with the USAF to be a firefighter because, in his words, “I want to serve our country and to help people as a firefighter.” And that you did, son. That you did. You have made a difference in the world – both then and even now. We celebrate YOU – we celebrate your LIFE – all that you gave to us while on earth.

Forever you will reside in Heaven to live in the presence of His light and love. As we look up at the stars at night, we know that your star is shining down on us like a little beacon. Someday we shall be together again. Someday. Till then, just know that each tear shed is because we love you so much.

There is a special place in Heaven for those who serve our country.

*********

Our family has been so touched by the compassion, prayers and acts of kindness shown to us this year. We thank each of you. To all of you who have shared your hearts and your life with me, thank you. None of us escapes the sorrows that come our way in life. We can only draw strength from our Father, our Faith and friendships. A dear blog reader, Constance, wrote this:

Dear Becky, I know we have never met but you are very dear to me. I never told you, but the day it was posted on your site that you had lost your son, I wept for days . I did not know you could love and care for someone you had never met or be so hurt by their loss. I know the wounds are still very fresh and I hope this doesn’t increase your pain today... we women are all sisters , in every country, in every land, language, economic situation, age, color, and religion. We all come from the same Father. The older I get the more I realize how much we are all tied by our joy and grief. The more we come together the more we can uplift each other and support each other. I could go on and on but when one other woman's heart breaks, all our hearts break with her, don't you think? I do not think anyone gets off this planet unscathed. I always wished some could , but I haven’t met anyone yet that has.”

And dear Kim said, “

“God bless you and your family and our precious Jordan. Please know that I will light a candle on his day in honor of him and of course pray for him and all of you. On Jordan's Day we will celebrate his beautiful life and remember how precious life is in honor of him.” ….thank you, Kim.

And thank you, Wave, for your beautiful card…and yes, I see the yellow butterfly and the rainbow that represents the one that stretched over us at the cemetery last February 13th. God’s promises…..blessings from The Holy Spirit. Amen.

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my jordy

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For you, sweet and precious son….In God's speed....

We love you. Always and forever, my baby you’ll be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

note: I will taking a break now to be with my family. God Bless all of you.

143 comments:

valthecraftygal said...

thank you for sharing-I will be lifting you all up in prayer today!

the wild raspberry said...

I'll be praying extra hard for you this day.

I love you~

Chasity

KaReN EiLeeN said...

What a beautiful tribute to Jordan. I too am a mother or two sons...one 21. I can only try to imagine your pain. You are in my prayers.

A mother's hug to you
Karen Eileen

Sue said...

My thoughts are with you during this time. God bless you and your family. hugs, Sue

Joycee said...

I read this post and like a year ago, I can't find the words. He was your everything, your pride and joy and I ache thinking how much it must hurt. The human spirit soars when we are put to such a test. We each have strength from our Maker that sustains us in times of sorrow. We will never meet, but I send heartfelt love and prayers to you and your family and honor Jordan that he gave the ultimate gift for his Country.
Joy Tilton
Rogers, AR.

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

Sending you a hug from far away and wishing I could ease any pain you and your family are going through. This was a lovely tribute to Jordan....
Hugs,
Penny

Pat said...

I read your beautiful tribute to Jordan with tears running down my cheeks. A mother's love never dies.....but a piece of her does die when her children go before her. I will say a special prayer for you on this most difficult anniversary.

Diane said...

My dear friend I am sitting here typing my heart is so broken for you right now, I am so sorry that you had to lose your little pal. I had come very close to losing my daughter my pal to cancer ten years ago, and reading your Post and seeing the pictures of Jordan made me remember just how quick things can change in our lives. What a darling little boy and such a handsome son, you should be more then proud. Hugs and Kisses, Love, Diasne

Ceekay- Thinkin of Home said...

I remember that post as well. Beautiful memories posted of your precious son. I hope you and your family have a wonderful thoughtful time together remembering, crying and laughing...God Bless you!

Sal said...

A lovely tribute to such a lovely son.
My thoughts are with you and indeed have been throughout the year.
Sending you much love .
Sal

Rue said...

Oh sweet Becky.. I think of you and your family and Jordan more than you will ever know. During the holidays and during his birthday I cried for you and I cry for you now. I think you know I have a hard time expressing myself, so I'll stop there, but please know that I love you sweet friend..

rue

Colleen said...

I have been thinking about you a lot over the past couple of weeks knowing you were facing the one year anniversary of Jordan's death. Your words are so touching and such a tribute to your son. I know you and your family miss him terribly.

From one mother to another... my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how hard it is to face the anniversary of the death of your child. I can't believe I am near the 20 year anniversary of losing my precious Melissa. It gets easier but it never goes away.

Hugs,
Colleen

Tanza said...

Ooohh Sweet Becky, and your beautiful family ~ Please feel my prayers and thoughts for you, as you remember Jordys' day, when he joined his Heavenly Fathers home, may you all find peace in knowing one day you will all be joined together forever in heaven .. I find so much comfort knowing you believe this, and knowing as well, that he is in a PeRfect place with no more pain or suffering, BUT, in a PeRfEct, glorified place in the prescence of his Father in heaven .. No better place to be .. My heart aches for you all, and I can barely type through my tears sweet friend .. You are an amazing testimony of LoVe and FaiTh .. only from a mothers heart .. I will be thinking of you.. I'm sending all my LoVe and prayers ~
Big teary hugs
~tea~xo

mariondee-designs said...

Reading this post and scrolling through the pics brought tears streaming down my face. I have a 20 year old son, and cannot even begin to imagine the pain you have suffered and I'm sure still do. You have given him a wonderful tribute and send my best wishes to you and your family. My heart goes out to you. take care, Maryann

Jackie said...

OMGosh what a heart wrenching post. I am so sorry. I didn't know. All this time reading your blog and I didn't know you lost a son. I guess I am air headed. I am just very sorry. Sad. What a handsome man he was inside and out. {{{hugs}}}

Brenda said...

I feel the love of your son and your warm heart through your pictures and thoughts.
I love the comment from Constance.
So true! I am a mother of sons, I am so sorry for your loss. Like constance, you left a big impact on me also. What a beautiful tribute to your sweet Jordan.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings and hugs to you. Families are Forever!
Love,
Brenda

Thimbleanna said...

Oh Sweet Becky -- I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family and your sweet Jordan.

Kathleen Grace said...

He was a handsome young man, and clearly a brave and good son. My heart breaks for you Becky. Any mother can empathize with your sorrow and heart break. I will, once again, send up a prayer for your family. This was a lovely and touching tribute to your dear son.

My Vintage Modern Farmhouse said...

Dear Sweet Becky:

I can't believe it will be a year since Jordan's passing. I think of you so often and admire you so much for your strong faith and perserverance to keep going. I just sent you an email of a video by a woman named Rachel. What a strong testimony to who our Jesus really is. Jordan is home with Jesus, no more pain, no more tears, nothing but pure sweet joy!

Love you my friend,

LeAnn

Blondie's Journal said...

Becky,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time. I think it is a very emotional time for all of us that know you. Your tribute to Jordan is beautiful and sad. And you are truly courageous. Bless you and your family.

xoxo
Janie

Lynn said...

You are the most courageous and beautiful woman I know. I don't know you well......but for someone to take the time to pray for my ill father (who is doing better by the way), while still in the throes of grieving for her own son.....is an amazing woman to me.

Jordan may have fulfilled his mission already in this life, but I see that you are also still fulfilling yours.

You have touched the lives of SOoooo many with your wisdom, goodness, compassion, talents and inspiration.

Without a doubt, I KNOW that Jordan is smiling down on you. You are an awesome mamma of a wonderful son. You raised him well. I can see that by the things you write of him.

Hugs. I will be thinking of you and keeping a prayer in my heart for you and your family this week.

Connie said...

I can't even imagine your heartbreak, sweetpea. I hope I never have to experience it with one of my children, although we did experience it with my daughter's husband last year in May. Heartbreaking and I'm thinking of you and your family today.
xoxoxoxo,
Connie

Lynn said...

This is a beautiful tribute to your son, Jordan. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain and hurt you must have felt when that KNOCK came at your door.. I do know the pain and hurt of losing a (child) son though. I found out our oldest son passed away by receiving a telephone call.. My oldest son passed away Sept.2008. He was 43 years old and was mentally & physically handicapped.. It still is so very hard knowing I'll never be able to see him..as I can imagine it is for you too.. Jordan is about the age of our youngest son Daniel..and Daniel is serving in the USAF. He served over in Iraq once. Your last conversation with your son reminds me so much of the same conversations that I have with all of my adult kids.. We always tell each other.. "I Love You".. and we never say "Goodbye" to each other.. We always say, "Later"..

My heart breaks for you.. Please know that others share your pain..

I don't know you personally, but I can read and feel through the loving words and picture's that you shared that you loved your son so very much and that he also loved his Mom alot in return.. That love touched my heart that you both had for each other.. and my heart breaks for you..

My heart breaks knowing that your son loss his life fighting for my freedom.. I believe with all my heart that there is a Special Place in Heaven for those who served our country.

I will have you an your family in my thoughts and prayers..

Blessings,
~Lynn

quiltingnana said...

such a lovely tribute for a lovely young man I'm sure

Mica said...

I have been following you for a year and remembering Jordon with you. I love coming here! Blessings to you and yous. Jordon, I am sure was a blessing from God! Hugs, Mica

Barb said...

Thinking of you....Barb

Melinda said...

Becky...I sat here reading this post, looking at the photos of your brave, handsome and obviously loving son, with tears rolling down over my face. How hard it must be, I cannot even begin to imagine. My heart aches for you, and tonight as I kiss my own 2 boys good night and head to bed I will say a prayer for you, your family, and your boy. Sending a warm hug, heartfelt sympathy, and my prayers from across the miles.

Julie said...

Dear Becky,
I have prayed for you every day since I found your blog, which was about 1 yr. ago. I have a list of parents who have lost children that I pray for every day. I am one who prays by name, so I say your name every morning. Just know that though we have never met, you are one of my friends.

God Bless You!

Love from Louisiana

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Becky, I have felt your pain and have been guilty of not saying much because I don't know what to say. It was with such sadness that I first read of his passing and having a son named Jordan myself, I just could only imagine how you must be hurting. God is faithful and he has brought you through. You have been an inspiration to us all. You will be in my prayers. Twyla

Barb~Bella Vista said...

Dearest Becky, I had only been blogging for a couple of weeks when I wandered on your blog and saw Lallee's post. My heart wept for you. I have lost a husband and the pain is a stabbing, relentless hurt that never goes away. So I have some idea of what you have been through and are contining to go through.

This is such a beautiful tribute to your son. He was truly blessed to have such a mother as yourself. You will see each other again some day. I am sending my heartfelt prayers and love to you. You are a woman of great strength.

God bless you,
Barb

The Hopkins Home said...

Beautifully written and wonderfully put together. I'm praying for peace and comfort for you and your family this week.
Christen

A Sentimental Journey said...

Love You, Miss Beckers. . . .thinking about you alot these days. Jordan left this earth on the one year anniversary of my Father in Laws death. I like to think they've met, and have enjoyed a chat or two.

xoxoxoxoxo P

Ashlee said...

this is a such beautiful post...

the song playing on your blog brought tears to my eyes for more than one reason.
we played that very song during the visitation before my father's funeral.

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

-ashlee

Anonymous said...

Dear little Becky,

There are so many of us who have followed your blog for the year since your precious Jordan entered heaven's gate. I'm sure in many ways you feel as if this was a bad dream and surely someone will wake you up. We have heard the pain of a mother's heart who has lost a child, but we have also seen the love of our Lord shine through - holding you up and making you strong when at times I'm sure it was so terribly hard.

Thank you for being such a wonderful testament of God's love. I pray that He will deliver courage and comfort to you and your family.

Consider yourself hugged.

Kay
txkottage@aol.com

Barb said...

Oh my, I am typing through tears.
What a beautiful, moving tribute to your son. You can see in the photo's that he was filled with joy, love and laughter.

I am a military mom and I can't even begin to imagine what that knock on the door was like.
I will hold you up in prayer. My heart aches for you. Your son gave the greatest gift that can be given- his life, so we can be free.

God Bless you and keep you strong.

Big hugs,
Barb

Claudia said...

I am thinking of you and your family, Becky. Bless you.

xo
Claudia

Cozy Little House said...

Such a handsome boy! I can't know how you feel, as I haven't lost a child I carried in my womb. But my heart is with you as you grieve for him. I'm sending big hugs from Texas! Love ya!
Brenda

Carol said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute to Jordan. I'm thinking of you & sending hugs & prayers.
Carol

trish said...

Dearest Becky.
In my prayers and close to my heart I will hold you and your family. Thank you for sharing Jordan with us. For allowing us a glimpse into the happiness and joy he is in your family. Thank you for sharing your faith that brings you comfort during these days. I am changed because you have shared.
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

twinkle said...

A very gentle hug and a tear for your precious loss. A hug as soft and tender as a daddy's first baby caressed in his arms. I truly do feel like this is a shared sorrow, just like Constance wrote about.

We are a very long chain of hearts connected by our joy and our sorrow.

Praying your tears will somehow ease the loss. And that God would let you feel the gentle hugs coming your way from all of us.

Shelia said...

This is such a beautiful tribute to your dear son Jordan. My heart is breaking for you and tears are rolling down my face! Thank you for sharing this with us and you and your family will be in my prayers!
Blessings,
Shelia ;)

Vee said...

It is always so moving to read a mother's heart. Your tribute to Jordan is filled with promise as well as the pain. God bless you and your family as you continue on through this anniversary season. I'm sure that it all feels very fresh to you once again and for that reason, you'll be very much in prayer.

PamKittyMorning said...

Thinking of you dearie. xop

skoots1mom said...

a mother's love is like NO other...a beautiful tribute for your baby...that he WILL always be :)

Elma said...

May the Lord be with you and your family on this difficult anniversary. We will be praying for you:)

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

Becky, my heart breaks for you as you remember your precious son! What a wonderful tribute to his amazing life! I will be lifting your whole family up in prayer as you go through this anniversary day. As Mothers, our hearts ache for each other's pain. I remember crying last year when I read your blog post about your son's death. Know that your blog friends are here for you. Love & blessings from NC!

Elsie said...

Oh Becky~ I will have you and your
family in my prayers. I have a 41yr. son and can not imagine your pain.
That was a beautiful tribute to
Jordan. My heart aches for you.
I cried the whole time I read it.
I feel like I knew him through all
of your post. (((HUGS))) and PRAYERS to you and your family.

Debbie said...

Thank you for sharing memories of your wonderful son.

God sent me a rainbow for my brothers funeral as well. It reassured me that life does go on.

((hugs)) I know your son is smiling from all the love being sent his way.

Cherry's Jubilee said...

YOu have been in my thoughts the last couple of days...been praying and will continue to do so! Love you Becky girl! cherry

Laura said...

I've only been reading your blog for a few weeks, but have been so touched by the story of your sweet son. Your family will be in my prayers.

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

Dear Becky,
Just like Constance said, after the passing of your beautiful son I mourned him for days as well, for the pain in a mothers heart....for the huge gaping hole you had in your family. I've thought about you so much throughout this past year....I'm in awe of your faith.
I'd like to share one of my favorite quotes with you-
At night, when you look up at the sky,
since I shall be living on a star,
and since I shall be laughing on a star,
for you it will be as if all the stars are laughing.
You alone will have stars that can laugh!
And when you have got over your loss
(for we always do),
you’ll be happy to have known me.
You will always be my friend.
You will want to laugh with me.
--The Little Prince

glimpse of my world said...

Becky, how does the time fly by so quickly. I know it must not fly by for you. I was a new blogger when this happened last year, and came across your blog - I remember wondering how a mother could endure such pain. I have often popped in and not left comments - and wondered and thought of you. I pray for you and your family.. and know we are all on this ride together -- for it is HIS PLAN ... and not ours. I wish you love & hugs.

yellowfarmhouse said...

WOW what a beautiful tribute to your son. I will be including this special day in my prayers for all of you.

Hugs - Karen

Violet said...

Oh Becky, I have been thinking of you lately knowing this date was coming, and lifting you up in prayer. We do not know each other but I often come by your blog and have seen your heart expressed so beautifully and transparantly here this past year. I am so sorry for your loss. Your faith and hope is truly an inspiration. May God bless you, and hold you in His arms of love... ~ Violet

from our front porch... said...

What a precious tribute, Becky. Your family was so blessed to have jordan. And he was blessed to have been so very, very loved. And in the end, I think that is what counts the most!
You and your family will be in my heart and prayers, as you walk this difficult journey.But how wonderful to know that you are watched over by Jordan and the Lord.

Please know how much you are loved, by so many!

The Strawberry Mallard said...

My sweet friend ~
No matter how many times I have sat down to post this message, my mind is blank.
It is with all of my heart and soul, that I wish you and your family peace. Your grace and your faith is what has and will continue to give you the strength to go on. Love you more than words can say....am here always for you.

Specials prayers being said for you tonight, tomorrow and always.
With love, NEBS

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

My heartfelt thoughts are with you on Jordons day. I will never forget the night I came to your blog and read your friends note. We had just spoken on the phone a day or so before and then this happened. I sat there and cried for you and your family. You are such a dear, dear person..and I think of you often.
Your tribute to Jordan is beautiful.
Lots of love and many hugs to you, Becky.
You know well how I feel.
Mona

marie said...

Dear Becky, What a loving, lovely tribute to Jordan. And what a tremendous witness to God's grace your life is.
You and your family remain in my prayers...my He bless you with peace.
Love,Marie

Esther Sunday said...

Dearest Becky - I have been thinking of you and your family often and even more so the last few days. Jordan is indeed a special man, and his service to our country will always be appreciated. Sending my love - Esther

Pat said...

Hi Becky,
I have been thinking about you for days now ever since the calendar wet to February 1st. Your love for your sons is something that we share. Being a mother to sons is such a special gift. Jordan was a very special gift to you while here on earth and to all of us who have had the pleasure of reading your blog and being so inspired by strength, courage and most importantly your faith. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and you special friend are always in my heart.
Pat

Mimi Sue said...

What a beautiful post. You're so right we are all here to lighten each other's burdens. We have a sisterhood that grieves with you as mothers ourselves. Bless you and your family at this hard time. Mimi

fiberdoodles said...

Oh Becky, my first visit to your blog was your first post paying tribute to sweet Jordan's life. My heart aches for you and your family. I know there are no words that can bring you comfort as much as prayer and please know that you are thought of often and always in my prayers.

I come from a long line of military men in my family and I am very proud and very thankful for those that serve our country. God Bless Jordan and God Bless you and your family!

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

....to my friends....i have wept with each word....i love you so....

....thank you...thank you....

God is so good....

...peace....love....my heartfelt thank you...

becky

Sweet Bee Cottage said...

I wish there were words I could say to help make the pain go away. I can just see from the pictures and your words what a splendid young man he was. His crooked grin was just a charmer. You and your family will again be in our prayers as you go through this milestone.

God bless,
Janelle

debbie said...

dear precious becky,
heaven is a lot funnier place since jordan walked through those pearly gates. he pulled out a pair of those handsome sunglasses, as heaven is so bright, and Jesus said, "WELCOME HOME JORDAN. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.!"
I remember the night i went to your blog and i read the note about Jordan that had been posted and i just burst out crying...i did't even know you well enough to say i knew you but i knew how terribly sad it must be for your child to die but yet not die.....
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE BECKY, TO HOW JORDAN LIVED AND IS STILL LIVING...WATCHING OVER YOU. HE IS A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN...AND HE LOVED HIS MOTHER, HIS DAD, BROTHER, AND FRIENDS.
THERE ARE NO WORDS I CAN SAY EXCEPT YOU HAVE HELPED ME IN MY JOURNEY...YOU ARE VERY BRAVE, AND JUST THE SWEETEST AND NICEST PERSON SOMEONE COULD EVER MEET AND I KNOW NICENESS DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE...JORDAN HAD TO ALSO BE ONE OF THE NICEST GUYS YOU COULD EVER MEET
I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AS I DO EVERY DAY. YOU TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED BECAUSE EVERYONE THAT LOVES AND ADORES YOU, WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU.
HUGS
LOVE
PRAYERS
MAY SWEET MEMORIES EMBRACE YOU
SIMPLY DEBBIE

Marcia :) said...

I am glad that you were blessed with such a handsome, fun loving, and honorable son. I am also glad that he was blessed with such a loving, kind family. That is such a gift. I will keep you in my prayers.

Joy said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers today and always...may peace be with you.

Daisy Cottage said...

(((((((Becky)))))))

What a beautiful tribute to Jordan and a testimony to the incredible and loving mother that you are.


The candle is lit.

I love you more than words can say.

I will be with you in spirit EVERY second today.

God Bless you, your family, and Jordan.


Love always,

Kim

Cottage Sisters said...

Becky,
Denise and I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in our hearts and prayers. We love following you and your blog.
Thank you for sharing you beautiful boy with all of us. We are so sorry for your loss.
Jill&Denise@CottageSisters

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

God, it really puts life into perspective. Thank you for sharing, i know he is with you every day

Emma said...

Dear sweet Becky,
My heart is with you...thinking of you, your family and your amazing son. I know he is up there making everyone laugh and smile still.

My prayers are with you all,
Much Love, Emma xxx

FourSistersInACottage said...

My Sweet Becky,
Just wanted to let you know I still have you and your family in my prayers.
I know today will be especially hard for all of you.
Please know, I love you and that Jordan will be with you forever. He is in a better place now and soon we will all see him again.
Love you bunches, Amy

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Thinking of you today. What a beautiful post!

Lynda said...

Such a beautiful tribute to your son. I am so sorry for your loss. I know all of these wonderful memories are a comfort to you in your moments of sadness. God bless.

Julie said...

Becky,

Your post is of such love and honor to your beloved son, Jordan. My heart aches for you as another mama. I thank you for being so transparent and intimate with your readers and followers. I'm sure your being able to share about the pain of such an unmeasurable loss has helped many many others who go through it. I have a Marine. I know the possibilities. It hurts to even think about it, so ...I don't. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure your Jordan was a very very special young man. I thank you for his sacrifice and commitment and dedication to give his all and his life for the freedom and safety of others. He is receiving his rewards and joys as a good and faithful servant for eternity. You most certainly were and are an outstanding mama. Thank you for raising such honorable sons. My love goes out to you across the internet, and hugs for the days ahead. In a book I am currently reading... the following excerpts impacted me. Forgive me for going on a little long in this comment, but I thought I would just share with you today what I have only just been reading... "Artists say that nothing pierces the heart like beauty and pain. Not the stuff we acquire or the goals we accomplish...One day your life is headed one way, and in an instant, your life embarks on a new course. Some of the pain that comes into our lives is just like this - out of the blue, totally unexpected, mind-boggling. Life is what happens to you while you were busy making other plans, John Lennon once said. That is true - life happens. And NONE of it catches God by surprise. It may take us a while, though, to catch our breath, to ride the wave of pain, and to trust that God has something in mind - something good - that we would never have dreamed...Pain is the special province of the heart. And in the providence of a merciful God, He is able to convert it to something golden. It matters to God where you go from here. For the secret you stumble on is that if, once hurt, you open your heart and let God take you by the hand, HE will lead you to a better place than you have known. Not necessarily easier, but a place of freedom and even joy." Becky, you have experience both. The beauty of raising a gift of a son so wonderful and loving, and the pain of experiencing the loss. I am so glad you know the ONE who made Jordan and that you know that Jordan is with his Abba Father today. That is a mama's truest and purest source of peace. God bless you. your sister in Christ. Julie

Brenda said...

Many many HUGS to you and your family on this very difficult day!

(((((HUGS))))))

BrendaS

Anonymous said...

Becky,I have read your blog for a long time, but rarely comment. I commented after Jordan's death and have to again today. Your post had me in tears, as did the sweet, sweet pictures of Jordan as a small boy. How your heart must break! But what pride you must feel. "There is a special place in Heaven for those who serve our country." I so, so agree. Thank you Jordy for serving your country, for wanting to make a difference. Thank you Becky for sharing your beautiful boy with us. Let us all remember and honor Jordan.

tina

tinam61@yahoo.com

Joyce's Journey said...

Your son was a beautiful human being, inside and out. My heart truly breaks for you. I'm sure Jordan would want to wrap his arms around you and tell you he's okay. This was a beautiful tribute to him, though I'm sure the tears were streaming as you wrote this. His time was short, but what an indelible mark Jordan left on this world! My prayers are with you.

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

Becky, I know this must have been so hard for you to write. But what a loving tribute to your sweet Jordan. May God bless you and your family and give you peace, as only HE can.

vintage frenchhen said...

Dearest Becky, I saw in the Bee today the memorial to your son and wanted to leave a note. What a beautiful tribute you have done in your sons honor. I think about you often since I have a son serving in Iraq. He will be home next month on leave and I will hold him a little longer while he is here. God bless you and your family and remember His promise of being reunited with our loved ones. Marcia

Linda Crispell said...

Your loss is unimaginable and your grace is inspirational.

Carey said...

First time on your blog. I feel so sad. Your son was so handsome. I have 3 sons. I feel your pain and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Carey

Snappy Di said...

I sit here and cry. I could never imagine losing my child... my one and only child.

This post affects me just as strongly as it did last year.

Sending a huge warm hug to you and your family.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Michelle said...

Becky,

What a loving tribute to Jordan..a special man indeed. My heart breaks for you today, just as it did a year ago... Sending you a big hug!
xxoo~Michelle

T's Daily Treasures said...

Thank you for sharing such beautiful memories of a wonderful life. Your Jordy was so blessed and loved. Keeping you and your family in thoughts and prayers as you take this time to remember. God bless, Tammy

Joni said...

Our dear, sweet Jordan. Even though we know that he is safe in Heaven, my heart aches for those of us here who so dearly miss him. My dearest friend Becky, the best mom, the sweetest person, so full of love for her sons - your pain and suffering cannot be described or understood by anyone who hasn't endured what you have over the last year. Your gracious, loving, and faithful spirit has gotten you through. All of the angels in your life and on this blog have lifted you up. The love of God, transcended through those of us that love you, will carry you along, but I know that your pain will never cease. Your continued devotion in the honoring of sweet, precious Jordan is so very special, and I thank you for sharing so wonderfully with all of us, here next to you, and even out in cyberland. You are a bright shining gem, and I know that Jordan can't wait to see you again!

All my love to you, Barry, and Spencer!

Joni

Charli and me said...

Dear Becky, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this year has been for you and your family. I have kept all of you in my thoughts and prayers this past year and will continue to do so. Please know that your not alone. Your son sounds like he was a special young man.

Talia said...

What a beautiful tribute to your son. May the memories you hold in your heart carry you through the pain.

Prayers and thoughts to you and your family. God Bless...

Rhondi said...

Hi Becky
My heart is with you and my prayers. Thank you for allowing us to share some of the grief with you.
Hugs, Rhondi

ROSE VINE COTTAGE said...

Oh Becky please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
(((Hugs)))Kelly

All My Yesterdays said...

I found your blog a few months ago and learned about Jordan. And I've posted a comment a couple of times but not often enough. So many bloggers have stopped to wish you the best and leave heart tugging words, and they will help...
You have a fine son and you let us know with his pictures and your words how special he will always be. My heart and prayers are with you today also. This is something you'll have to go through the rest of your days on earth. It won't be an easy thing, you know that. But always remember how he told you he loves you. That memory will be so very precious as the years pass. They were the last words my son said to me the night before he died, 25 years ago this coming June. I didn't get to hear my daughter say them when she died 2 years ago last month. Parents should never outlive their children...but it happens to countless of us. Just keeping the Faith and knowledge that we will see them again is what keeps us going. My love to you and your family as you take the time to honor Jordan...hold on tight to each other, and the memories.

Vicki

molly said...

WHat a sweet remembrance- I will be lifting you up for Gods special comfort during these days. God Bless you and your family.

Miss Jean said...

I'm sorry I'm not there to give you hugs. Just know I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Jordan was certainly lucky to have such a loving family. He's still here with you (especially when the VCR does it's "thing"!)
((((((((((xoxxo))))))))

Lori said...

Words alone can never express my thoughts to you for the loss of Jordan. I can only send you my love and pray for you to find comfort in knowing your beautiful and talented son is still in your heart everyday and watching over his wonderful Mom. God bless you dear one,Lori

Michle said...

Prayers and thoughts for you and your family in this difficult time. You are blessed to have Jordy in your life. Michle

sandy said...

Becky,
Peace be with you in your grief of the loss of your son, but joy in the knowledge that he is with our Lord and Savior and you will join him someday. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I have been following you for one year since I was directed to your blog by Daisy Cottage to express my sympathy. I will say a special prayer for you and your family tonight.
Sandy

Valarie said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. However does a mother's heart heal after losing a child? Your strength inspires me.
Valarie

Colleen said...

Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you again today. I remember the 1st anniversary of Melissa's death I replayed every hour of the year before and wished, prayed and begged to be able to "undo" it all. I wish children never died!

Your blog friend,
Colleen

The Green Pea said...

Hello Becky, you have been on my mind so much lately. Thank you for sharing your beautiful Jordan with us. You are a inspiration to me. You are a lovely mother, wife, lady and friend. May God always bless you and your family. sandi

Maryjane - The Beehive Cottage said...

I actually had this written on my calendar Becky. Thinking of you and yours and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. How blessed you are to have such a precious son as Jordan. He was here long enough to make huge footprints on the earth that will never be washed away. Precious Jordan. Thank you for sharing sweetheart.

Love,
Maryjane

AshTreeCottage said...

God Bless you Becky, and thank you for your sweet son's service for our country. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Love,
Susan
xxoo

Kathie Truitt said...

No, thank YOU. Thank you for letting us have Jordan. Thank you for being willing to let him go so he could protect our freedom, our way of life, and from our enemies.

Thank YOU, Jordan for being so unselfish and so willing to serve your country in any and all capacities, KNOWING that it might mean your life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. There are so many proud Americans just like me that do not take their freedoms and their lifestyle for granted. Jordan, you did not die in vain.

And last but not least, thank you, Jesus for men like Jordan who have such a strong compassion for their country and are willing to die for it, so we can live.

Kathy said...

What a beautiful post you did on Jordan and the family. I cried all the way threw it. I pray for you all and that piece is with you.Dear Becky,your such a dear friend and having such a good heart and I treasure your friendship.I will think of you and your family each and every day. My God be with you now and forever. Love Kathy Sue

Lisa Marie said...

I am thinking of you and praying for you today. My heart aches for you every time I read your posts about Jordan! My son too is in the USAF and I agree there is a special place in Heaven for them that serve! He is a priceless treasure that will never be forgotten!
Lovingly, Lisa Marie ~

Lululiz said...

(((((Becky))))), the tribute to your beloved son is incredibly moving, beautiful, heartbreaking. I need to remember to tell my sons every day that I love them.

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

lifting your family up in prayer.

cindy said...

Becky,
We are mothers that are traveling the same road only I have been on myjourney longer than you. Our son, Joshua, would have been 23 on Feb. 3. We lost him 7 years ago, November 15.

I wish I could give you some words or thoughts to carry in your heart to make the pain easier, but there truly isn't any.
I would love to talk with you but will wait on you. Just make sure you let Jesus know that you love him, no matter how hard it is.

Sandy said...

Becky,
When I first started following your blog and I saw the day Jordan passed, I was heartsick. Fabruary 4th is my birthday, and it made me sad to know on this day you would be mourning your wonderful boy.....I wanted to write something yesterday, but I just couldn't find the words....I have two sons, and after reading this post I wept.....I can't imagine your pain and loneliness, but I feel that Jordan is indeed with God . And I know it feels like it will be forever before you see him again, but it won't....ourtime on this earth is a blink of an eye...Becky I am giving you and you family a huge hug right now....

Tina said...

Thinking of you this week!

Dawn said...

Jordan must have indeed been a special person to serve as he did and be so playful too. But I wouldn't have expected anything less coming from such a wonderful family as yours.
Bless you all.
Dawn

Suze said...

There are no words to express what I would like to say to you and your family. Instead I send you loving thoughts and cyber hugs. I know the pain of losing a brother too young and can only imagine the sorrows you have bourne. I Have admired the way you have dealt with this sad loss.

Janean said...

as a mom of a son, my heart breaks for you.

i have several friends who've lost their sons -- all in different ways, but the pain is the same.

thank you for sharing these photos. jordan was a CUTIE-PIE as a boy and grew up to be handsome man, which is not always the case. add to that a sweet, kind, funny heart? priceless. "you did good, mom!"

Lallee said...

Becky, my heart still hurts for you. I continue to pray for God's ceaseless love toward you and your family. May He show you in measureless ways, over and over and over. I adore all the photos. They each speak of a beautiful life. Jordan is not forgotten.
XO,
Lallee

tarnishedandtattered.blogsot.com said...

Becky,
Your loss breaks my heart. I wept reading your post today as hard as I did last year when I heard the shocking news. As a Mother I cannot fathom the pain you & your husband must feel. My prayers and thoughts are with you all today & for many more.
Lisa

Sandy said...

What a tragic loss not only for your family but for the world. Young men like this are very rare and what a terrible shame that he was taken too early. No parent should ever have to bury a child, no matter their age. My husband is a fireman, and like your son, he feels it is his calling. May your son live on in your memories and may the pain of such a loss be eased more and more with each passing day. Love and prayers to you all.

black eyed susans kitchen said...

Wishes of comfort and love...your Jordan was a very special person and has touched many hearts.
♥, Susan

Andrea at My Feathered Nest said...

God bless you. You have so many wonderful memories. You had a wonderful, loving son and isn't it a blessing to know, that one day you will be reunited with him?
My prayers are with you.
hugs
ANDREA

Connie said...

Your spot is beautiful and sad. I am so glad that you had such a great relationship with your son. Not all moms have that.
Remember some day you will be with him again - I can just imagine what a marvelous time you all have all together again. In the meantime, feel God's arm around you - holding you close.

JG said...

You wrote a beautiful tribute to your son. With a mother's love you expressed the feelings of all of the members of your family. May you all have Peace.

Amy said...

Becky...my thoughts are with you and your family. Your Jordy was special! Peace and Love. ~amy

Debbie @ ribbonwoodcottage.blogspot.com said...

I loved your post. How precious. I remember this a year ago...and how you managed to go on. We've all prayed for you...for comfort and strength.
I want to thank you for letting us be a special part of this. I was deeply moved by the loss of your son. I have two sons and I know.....
Love to you and give yourself a special hug from me please.
Blessings,
Debbie

Blessedmom's Simple Home said...

I know it's already been said, but I am praying for you and your family. Thanks to your son and many others like him who so willingly served our country. He is one of my heroes.
Blessings,
Marcia

Patricia said...

Dear Becky, We have never met. I happened to come across your blog a little over a year ago and I could tell that you were a very special woman. I just couldn't wait to see what you were cooking, sewing, or decorating next. And I loved reading all about your cottage, your family, your life. I felt like I knew you. I sobbed the day that I read about Jordan's death. I cannot imagine your pain and how much you must miss him. May you find peace and comfort by knowing that you will be reunited in heaven someday. You are a fabulous mother and an inspiration to me. Love and prayers,
Patty
Woodbury Minnesota

Our Red House said...

Darling Becky, I am praying for you and sending hugs across the Pacific Ocean to you. May God protect you and keep you and help you find solace. Your beautiful son is now flying high with the angels in heaven.

hugs from your Aussie friend,

Kate

Nan said...

A beautifully written tribute to your beloved son. This was beautiful to read, from you friend in Alaska Nan

Rae Ann said...

I came upon your blog quite by accident today and am so happy that I did! I was so deeply touched by your tribute to your sweet, wonderful son. I can only imagine the heartfelt pain that you have been through in this last year and still experience. You seem to have such a wonderful understanding of death and have an unusual way of lifting others in the way that you have shared your son's life. Thanks for letting us get to know Jordan. He will now live forever in our hearts...and you in our prayers.
Love and Hugs at this difficult time!

Dana Bello said...

God Bless you and your family. There is no greater loss than losing a child. Heaven needed another Angel and your beloved son was chosen.

Ann at the Handley Bungalow said...

I will say a special prayer for you and your family today. What a beautiful tribute to your son. He was a lucky man to have a mom like you. I know God has a special plan for your life just as He had for Jordan. Sincerely, Ann

Ginger~~Enchanting Cottage said...

Becky,You will be in my prayers. This is a beautiful tribute to your son.
Ginger

Linda said...

Dear Becky, this is a beautiful tribute to your dear son. I know your faith, family and friends continue to bring you blessings and comfort. I think of you often and you are in my prayers...hugs, Linda

Dena said...

Sweet Becky,

I've tried several times to write this and just can't seem to find words worthy so I'll just say this...my thoughts and prayers are with you and I am sending you big hugs and love.

XOXO,
Dena

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Becky, with tears in my eyes, I am saying a prayer for you. Jordan was such a cute little guy and such a handsome young man. I cannot even imagine your pain, but I know it must be unbearable. I put you and your family on my prayer list last year, and I have kept you there. laurie

Anonymous said...

Becky, Even before I read this tribute to Jordan and even though I do not know you or your family....I remembered that it was a year ago I read about your son's death. Since then I have admired your faith, strength and courage. I only hope if I am ever in your shoes I will handle myself with the grace and dignity that you have shown. I think your Jordan would be very proud of his beautiful mother.

Lots of love and prayers, Debbi

I

Tara said...

Becky, my thoughts are with you, as you celebrate the life of your son. I have tears in my eyes as my little one is almost 3, there is no deeper love then the love of your children & the love of a mother. Bless you sweet girl, bless your family and bless Jordan. xo, Tara

The Quintessential Magpie said...

God bless your sweet, dear mother's heart. Thinking of you and sending you warm hugs...

XO,

Sheila

bunnythreads said...

Dear Dear Sweet Becky, I know the Lord led me here soon after you shared Jordan with us. Back then I went thru a box of tissues & sat stunned for the longest time. Lord,your pain..your loss..I knew what you felt..I shared it along with you dear friend ... as I lost my son my 1st born many years ago~ but the pain hits me every year `out of the blue' in my heart~ like it is being ripped out,yes,it can actually take your breath away, golly on anniversary's I have walked thru a room caught a glimpse of his photo & have fallen to my knees gasping for air sobbing when you least expect it. I have thought of you as this day approached & I grieve again for you with the crushing pain in my heart that I know you feel. You have such love & courage to share Jordan with us. What Heros YOU both Are. Thank you. My family Thank you both & we thank your entire family for your great sacrifice. We have family in serving also & have for generations. I was alone in my grief, I hope you grasp how truly wonderful you are that you are able to touch readers so much that we reach back to circle you in prayer & hugs.....Dear Becky if love & prayer can lift you & heal, your faithful `friends' out here are doing just that ...and your good works go full circle thru your beautiful son with Jordan's Angel story & photo's as it continues' to touch & caress souls for a never ending time... I Will continue to have you in my thoughts & prayers.I know that God has a Special Band of Angels watching over you Becky.
Blessings from my heart to yours

Brenda@ **Dragonflys and Stars** said...

Every time I hear of the death of a soldier, I think of their mother and send a prayer. I can not imagine the pain. Thank you for the service your son provided. Thank you for sharing his story. It sounds like he touched a lot of lives and will continue to live on in thoughts and memories. May you find peace where you can.

Anonymous said...

I can hardly believe it's been a year... I am thinking of you and your family. As other's have said (better than I could), we've never met yet I share your pain and pray for you.
Thanks for your beautiful Jordan who served us all and for ALL you share here .
Blessings and (((HUGS))) being sent your way.
Leslie

sherry said...

I will love you forever
I will like you for always
as long as I am living
my baby you will be!

YOur final words of this post hint to me that you love the book, "Love for Always"

I am always sad for you and your loss.

Marie said...

Thanks for sharing the story of your son. What a great looking boy! I sat here and shed tears as I read about him. I also have a son and your loss broke my heart. I send your family my deepest sympathy.
Love,
Marie

Susie Q said...

I had been thinking so much about you Becky...about you, about your family, about Jordan. Although we have yet to meet *in real time*, I have always felt a kinship with you...have always admired you and adored you. Your strength and faith duting this year has been such an inspiration to me, to all of us. My heart is with you, my prayers, my thoughts.
Jordan has so many friends across this country, and the world, that he never met...your blog friends. None of us will forget him.

Blessings to you sweet lady...blessings to you always.
Love,
Sue

Sunflower Farm said...

Thinking of you

white o'morn cottage said...

Beautiful. Thinking of you...Pam, Ireland