Today is one of those melancholy days. I need my quiet time to be still and alone in my thoughts. Chatting with God about stuff. I know He listens and he cares. He loves us so much.
Thinking of the times – more specifically, life - when things were different. Easier, less hurt in the heart. When phone calls were made to catch up with my family who lived so far, far away. Hearing about the cool stuff going on in their life. Happy for them. Elated beyond just a smile on the face.
I miss my precious son so much and now my momma. Often I suppress back the tears that seem to well up in my eyes at the oddest of times. A song on the radio will spark a memory. Sometimes a happy one, sometimes not.
Today is a day for reflection. That’s all. I know many of you are walking with me in this journey. Others not. It’s hard to explain how I feel. I just have to lean on God for He knows everything. Everything. He hears my prayers and answers them. I just love God so much!
Psalm 34:18: The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 147:3: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
xxo…
What a post. I was just thinking today that happiness and heartache seem to coexist sometimes. My parents are living with us, dad has Alzheimers and will be 90. He can't remember so much, but he tells me he remembers the day I was born and how I gurgled so much. I shake my head and smile, because he can't remember what day it is, what town we live in which is sad, yet remembers me. Life is precious. And I have found walking with God...he doesn't remove my storms but helps me gracefully navigate through rough waters, storms, awful winds...yet is faithful to guide me to the right destination.
ReplyDeleteI remember your son, and that day. I remember it well.
Please give yourself a hug from me...someone you will probably never meet, but connected through blogging and connected by a Great God who never leaves us or forsakes.
Blessings,
Debbie
Hi. I know what you're feeling. I've lost loved ones too. Sometimes when I laugh, I hear them laugh. Sometimes when I pass by a mirror I see a glimpse of them. God does love us. So much. I think he allows us times of reflection and grieving so we can begin to heal. The memories of our loves don't go away but become easier to deal with. It takes time to heal brokenhearts. 1 Peter 5:10 "After I have suffered awhile, the God of all grace, who has called me to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, will restore me, establish me, strengthen and settle me." He is so good. Enjoy your quiet time and remember the good. His hand is very near. ~ Jocelyne
ReplyDeleteSweet Becky, I do know some. Not the heartbreak of losing a child, but the heartbreak of losing my mom and now a sweet cousin has gone to her reward just yesterday...too soon. No, right on time. I have to remember that.
ReplyDeleteThis morning I was visiting a blog where out of the blue Roy Orbison started to sing "If only we could make of life what in dreams it seems, but in the real world we must say real goodbyes...In the real world there are things we can't change and endings come to us in ways that we can't rearrange." Now, though it's a love song about a failed love, I found myself teary-eyed because those words resonated so much.
How good that you chat with God. Keep on chatting and allowing Him to love you. And thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It is good to talk and who knows who will be helped...
Hugs to you, days of reflection can be the hardest. The heart is so tender...you have a piece of mine today!
ReplyDeleteHi my sweet sister Becky,
ReplyDeleteI too have had many of those "quiet moments" in the past few weeks especially, not everyone can understand but you and I share a very special connection that way. If I didn't have The Lord to hold me in the still places of my heart, I would surely be dead. Those "quiet times" serve as a healing time for me and I pray they do the same for you.
Love & Blessings & Prayers for you my friend,
Debbie
Dear one,
ReplyDeletethinking of you and sending my love and heartfelt wishes for that peace which passes all understanding.
xo
Claudia
Becky it's been a year this month for me too. I lost my sis last year and I was thinking of you because I knew this month was not a good one for you either. My heart is so heavy and I know what you mean on how you feel. Sometimes even though I have my own family I still feel kinda like an orphan with all my family gone except me. It just seems surreal.
ReplyDeleteWith God by my side I know I will make it. He answers all my prayers.
God is Good!!! Please take all these hugs from me to you ((((((HUGS)))))!!!!!
I know how you feel. Not from a loss of a child, but from the loss of my Mom. Sometimes it hurts so much even after now almost 22 mths. Hard to explain to those that still have their loved ones to call and speak to and hear their wonderful voices. Glad you are taking this time to do what is needed! Bless you today and always!
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and love sweet girl....xxoo, Dawn
ReplyDeleteHe is our ever present help in time of need...What do others do...those who do not turned to him...where is there comfort? They find none...only false hope. Bless your child dear Heavenly Father..thank you for granting her peace and cradling her in the comfort of your Holy Spirit.
ReplyDeleteYour post stuck a chord in me. You were so honest and you put your pain out there. I wanted to give you a hug right away and say, it's okay. I like that you shared it with us and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. :) Kit
ReplyDeletePraise the Lord! He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. The Lord's delight is in those who fear Him, those who put their hope in His unfailing love. Praise the Lord!
ReplyDelete(Select verses from Psalm 147 from this morning's devotional) ... one of my friend's posted this today, and I wanted to share it with you.
Hi friend! I enjoyed our small moment of chatting last night. I wished I lived closer. But just as God lives in the Heavens...and is still by yourside at all times...I live in Texas....and I am still by yourside in prayer and friendship.
ReplyDeleteA big hug and always just a call away.
Cindy from Rick-Rack and Gingham
Thinking of you and hoping you will get a special sign from those you love who are no longer with you.
ReplyDeleteKat
I just felt to come here today. and now I see why. The Bible says we are to bear one another's burdens, and although I don't know you, I can lift you up in prayer to our Heavenly Father. I love the verse Jocelyn shared. I know you are hurting right now, but He will strengthen you and restore your joy.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs and God Bless you,
dawne
I don't know what your are feeling. I can only imagine. I lost my parents many years ago. I can't think of anything worse than losing a child!
ReplyDeleteJust know as you are a child of God, I will hold you in my heart and my prayers.
I feel your pain! Know that even tho we've never met, you have been and inspiration to me.Your sensibilities are so uplifting.I read your blog every day. And every day, their is some wonderful little gem.
ReplyDeleteYesterday because of you, My husband and I
visited the Green Pea...Loved the place, it was so worth the drive.
I wish you a lighter heart and a little gem in your day! Lorraine
Dear Becky,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you love God...that makes all the difference in the world! I'm praying that He fills you with peace in the midst of your reflections. I pray that He laughs with you when you're happy and holds you tight when you're sad.
My father-in-law lived with us for over four years and he passed away a week before Thanksgiving...the house seems so empty and sometimes my heart feels empty too. Aren't we blessed to have a God who is our strength.
You'll be in my prayers Becky...hugs to you!
Dear Becky,
ReplyDeleteQuiet times are for reflecting, and being in God's Word brings peace to our hearts. I remember when we had a great loss, someone shared this verse with me.
Psa 56:8 "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
Even when we are hurting, God brings something, someone, a word, or a memory to remind us of how great HIS love is for us. Blessings to you today Becky. Know that we love you and send you hugs of comfort.
Jocelyn
You are so wise to sit with your thoughts and your prayers because you know that you are not alone - God never leaves you, and many of us pray for you. There is often a temptation to get 'busy' but it sounds like you need some quiet time, and when you are ready to rise up from it, you'll be refreshed and comforted.
ReplyDeletexo
Perfect verses Becky, and you are right, God heaars us and loves us. I am so grateful to have him to lean on. I am sending love and prayers your way.
ReplyDeletexxoo
kathy
My heart feels for you! I know the pain you are feeling while you are thinking back to "the day". I know you relive it in your mind a thousand times. I know I have. I remember reading about Jordan and crying for you before I began my blog. I know your son and mother are together and watching down on you. Our loved ones in Heaven would want us to be happy but it is so hard without them here to comfort us and just to hear "I love you". You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God is good!
ReplyDeleteSending big HUGS your way!
Donna
Thinking of you in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteThe scriptures are our strength,
ReplyDeleteour life....but I weep with you.
xo
Hi Becky, I don't know exactly how you feel, but being a mother it must be so hard, I think of you and your family alot, your story has really stayed with me. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it is good to reflect. Take care.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Terri
Those scriptures are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI totally get you having to have those "quiet times".
Times to reflect and be silent so we can hear what God is trying to tell us/me.
I love that about living here in the country. I just go out for a walk and it is so quiet, and beautiful, peaceful...and I cry a little, talk out loud asking God to "please, help me get through this".
It is a good time for me.
Then I come back energized and stronger.
physically and spiritually
My dear sweet friend, you are in my thoughts, in my prayers, and I am sending you love, peace and prayerful thoughts, all carried by butterflies......he will ALWAYS be with you because he is inside your heart...and that is where you will carry him forever ...
ReplyDeleteLove to you tonight and always..we will be looking up in the sky for him once again tonight.
Love you Becky...always Nancy and family
Hi Becky...my thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.
ReplyDeleteA verse that I like comes from Ish. 41:13 For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear, I will help you."
We have an amazing God, as you know, who loves us so much. I pray that you feel His loving arms holding you close this week.
Biggest of Hugs,
Debbie
Life is so very precious and so very fleeting...at least on this earth. I know two angels are looking down on you with love in their hearts.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and hoping the pooches are snuggling close by.
I want to send you a big cuddle! Having read your blog for a while now I have always admired your strength. You inspire us all with your zest for life despite adversity. Take time to remember and yes wallow a bit, your faith will get you through. Lots of love. xxx
ReplyDeleteHello Sweetheart, may I share a tear with you? You are a dear mother and daughter, God does love you so much.
ReplyDeleteMore importantly you love him and he does see you though this world.
Love you Becky, sandi
Becky, thanks for sharing. You are in my thoughts often, when feeling sad and missing my son,I often think of those I know that have loved ones in heaven. You are an inspiration to me. God bless your broken heart, love dena
ReplyDeleteHi Becky , My prayer for you is the God of PEACE surround you and Jesus our Savior put His loving arms around you.He is our comfort. You are always blessing others may His blessings be yours today. Jesus loves you and so do I. Doris
ReplyDeleteI don't know the pain of losing a child but I do know the pain of losing your mother. In April it will be 5 years since I lost my mother. You think you're doing fine and then one day you wake up with such an empty feeling inside. When those days happen I think of all the wonderful memories I have of her. I will be thinking and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteIt will be five years in May since we lost our 21 year old son. Just this afternoon as I was driving home from shopping, I thought of how much I missed him. I read his friend's comments on Facebook and think he should be there with them. But instead he is in Heaven. I know that God is good and he heals a broken heart but there is a big hole in my heart that only someone who has experienced the loss of a child can understand.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and your family as you travel this difficult road.
Lean on Him and all will be well as he sees the big picture and we cannot. Hope you have a little bit better day tomorrow. Mimi
ReplyDeleteYour faith is a blessing to us all. Nothing is more healing then spending quiet time with our Father. I'm sending a lot of love your way.
ReplyDeleteI think winter is so dull and gray that it's hard to not think about things like this. Sorry to hear you are hurting. One of my high school friends lost her only child, a son, to suicide about a year ago. Yesterday, she posted this quote on Facebook:
ReplyDeleteMany we love have passed away too soon...without reason. We remember them often in a thousand different ways...In the morning...in the night...when we look at the stars...a date...a song...a place...a smile. In memory of all those who have left us too soon. I know it must be tough, but hang in there. And I hope you mostly remember the smiles. (((Hugs)))
God does hear, even when we are too sad to speak the words in our heart! Hugs and prayers, Nan
ReplyDeletewhat a beautiful post. Thinking and praying for you always!
ReplyDelete